POOP is a 4 Letter Word. On Another Note, Here's a way to get thinner Fatty.

 

You're fat. You know you're fat, your family knows you're fat, you're friends know you're fat, I know you're fat and this post knows you're fat. If you fall into this specific category, then you're fat. Since you have established and underwent a stage of recognition (recognizing that you're fat), you need to answer these questions first fatty:
 
1)    When I look at myself in the mirror, do I feel disgusted? (Or do you hold that belly of yours and shake it infront of the mirror? If you do stop reading and leave. You disgust me)
2)    Do I have a hard time wearing what I want? (Or are you one of those fat people that wears tight clothing and thinks they look good? If you are then stop reading this and leave. You disgust me)
3)    Do I feel guilty after eating a fatty meal? (Or do you enjoy eating greasy foods such as Naif's Chicken Puri? If so, stop reading and go kill yourself. You disgust me)
4)    Do I have a hard time getting really cute and hot women to seek interest in me? (That "I love your inner beauty" crap is total BS. If you're not into women then you're most probably gay. If you are, stop reading and leave. Gay people annoy me more than fat people)
 
If you have answered yes to all the questions above then congratulations; you are ready to lose all that fat FATTY.
 
Too many people blame their slow metabolisms, while in reality they are the ones who slowed down their own metabolisms. How can this be achieved?
 
1)    Not eating breakfast early in the morning. Ever wonder why you’re appetite is never up to snuff in the morning? That's because it's still asleep. You cannot start a car without turning the ignition on, and the same thing goes with your metabolism. Turning on your metabolism is as simple as drinking a glass of orange juice in the morning. That's literally all you need. "Hey smartass, I tried that last time but I ended up hungrier ALL DAY!" Slow down there fat Albert. By turning on your metabolism, you need to feed it. Since we've already started the car, now it needs fuel to run.
2)    Not eating ever 3-4 hours. In order for your metabolism to run efficiently, it needs to be fed. "Wait Mr. Smartass, I just ate a snack 3 hours after breakfast and I could eat the guy sitting right next to me!" Woah there Professor Klump. That hunger after you've fed your metabolism is fat being burned. It means your body has used up all the nutrients you just ate and is now burning off those extra pounds you got stuck to your butt.
3)    Not eating 4-6 meals a day. "Now hold up you motherf*@cker! I used to eat a meal a day, or two MAX! Now you're making me eat 6!?" Exactly you inconsiderate ignorant son of a b*tch. Refer to my example below:
a.     Fatty wakes up in the morning at 7am and goes to work. Fatty waits until 10-11am to order food. Since Fatty waited this long to eat, his blood sugar is at an all time low. After consuming his high carb late breakfast, 30 minutes later, Fatty's blood sugar drops, thus sending him on a sugar-searching spree. Fatty goes to a female colleague (since females tend to store more chocolate and sugary goods than any place out there) and begs for a snickers bar, thus adding insult to injury. Fatty then heads home and devours what seems to be a week's supply of food because "the only thing I ate today was a sandwich and a snickers bar!" Fatty goes into a diabetic coma and sleeps, waking up 3-4 hours later. To pick himself up, Fatty heads to the closest Starbucks and get's a loaded Frappe. An hour or two later, Fatty's friends (who are also fatties since fat people hunt in groups of 3-5) decide to order food and watch a soccer game or a movie. Of course, McDonalds, Burger King or Hardeez (ekabir el shisma) always wins over a chicken salad or grilled food. This is on weekdays; weekends are 50% worse.
 
 
Undoing the Damage
If you're serious about this, then necessary steps have to be taken into consideration:
 
Step One:
Calculate your current total calorie expenditure. Go to www.Calorieking.com and look up your daily food routine. Calculate your total calories and start with that amount minus 200 calories.
 
Step Two:
Assuming your total calorie intake is at 3,000 calories. After deducting 200, your total calories come down to 2,800. Divide that by 5 meals which come down to 560 calories per meal. The bulk of your calories should be in the morning.
 
Step Three:
Upon Waking, drink a glass or two of water then a glass of Orange Juice (120-150 calories). Wait 1-2 hours (depending on your hunger) then eat a breakfast high in protein, fat and carb calories (500-700 calories).
 
Step Four:
Eat every 3-4 hours. So far, you've consumed between 700-950 calories. You'll most probably be hungry 3-4 hours after breakfast. Indulge in a chocolate bar, a bag of chips, nuts, a cookie or a muffin with a teabag of Green Tea. 3-4 hours later after that, you won't feel too hungry, so you either wait it out till you get home (if it's no more than 4 hours) or eat another light snack or a salad.
 
Step Five:
Commit to light or intense short exercise. Start with 45 minutes of fast paced walking 3 times a week. Increase days as results slow down. Do no more than 60 minutes per day.
 
Step Six:
Cut carbs after 6 pm. Carbohydrates are an energy source which we don't need at night since activity levels (and insulin sensitivity) are low. Indulge in high protein, moderate fat and low carb meals at night.
 
 
"What!? You expect me to design my own diet plan!? Khulatheena, ana Kuwaiti, a7ib el rubada o 7adi di3la! 7i6li diet lana jad mu wagtik!"
 
Insha'Allah Cinderella. A proposed diet plan is as follows:
 
6-7 am – Upon Waking:
500ml of Water
 
7 – 8 am – Breakfast (Maximum an hour after waking up):
Average: McDonald's Sausage Egg McMuffin w/ Fresh Orange Juice (500 calories)
Good: 3 scrambled Eggs w/ Fresh Orange Juice (345 calories)
Best: 2 scrambled Eggs, 4 slices of Turkey Breast, 2 slices of Whole-Grain Toast w/ Fresh Orange Juice (570 calories)
 
30 Minutes Prior to Meal Below:
500ml of Water
 
10 – 11 am – Snack (3 Hours Later):
Average: 1 Chocolate Bar + Green/Black/White Tea w/out sugar (271 calories)
Good: 1 Red/Green Apple + 15 pieces of Raw Almonds or Cashews (Green/Black/White Tea w/out sugar 30 minutes before or after) (243 calories)
Best: 1 Scoop of Protein Powder + 10 pieces of Raw Almonds or Cashews (Green/Black/White Tea w/out sugar 30 minutes before or after) (288 calories)
 
30 Minutes Prior to Meal Below:
500ml of Water
 
1 – 2 pm – Lunch (3 Hours Later):
Average: McDonalds Double Burger (no cheese) (350 calories)
Best: High Protein Green Salad w/ Olive Oil and Apple Cider VinegarVinegar (if you ate the "Average Option" as a snack at 10-11am) (450 calories)
Best: Small portion of Low-GI Carbs (brown rice, brown pasta, whole-grain bread) w/ large portion of lean protein (Chicken Breast, Turkey Breast, Tuna w/out mayo, or Filet Mignon) and 10 pieces of raw almonds or cashews OR 1 tbsp of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (570 calories)
 
4:00 – 1 Cup of plain American Coffee OR any plain tea w/out sugar
30-60 minutes of vigorous aerobic or anaerobic activity (cardio, weight-lifting, or any sport).
500ml of Water or more
 
5 – 6 pm: Snack:
Average: 1 glass of Fresh Orange Juice (120 calories)
Good: 1 Red/Green Apple, 6 slices of fresh Pineapple, 2 pieces of Kiwi or 1 cup of anything that has "berry" at the end of it (and no, Pinkberry is not included). (75-100 calories)
Best: High Protein Green Salad w/ Olive Oil and Apple Cider Vinegar. (420 calories)
 
30 Minutes Prior to Meal Below:
500ml of Water
 
9 – 10 pm: Dinner:
Average: 1 Red/Green Apple, 6 slices of fresh Pineapple, 2 pieces of Kiwi or 1 cup of anything that has "berry" at the end of it (and no, Pinkberry is not included). (75-100 calories)
Good: 1 plate of Shish Tawoo'a w/ a small Tabboula (500 calories)
Best: 15 pieces of Salmon Sashimi w/ a Seaweed Salad with apple sauce dressing (600 calories)
 
 
 
Bil Hana Wishifa Ya Wad Ya Tkheen!!